where am i from again
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
