umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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