Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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