Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
