honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
