We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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