I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
