That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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