Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
