office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
