I'm gonna have a badass scar
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
