remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
