There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Alive.
So much puke
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
