Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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