I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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