who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
