my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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