its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
