What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
