Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
