I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
