she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize