Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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