i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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