I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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