i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
