We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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