Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
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