Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
