I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
