Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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