The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
