are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
