Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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