I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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