Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
