I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
