I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
