I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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