If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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