in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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