Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
