drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize