help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
