apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this will be a night to untag.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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