oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
