The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
