You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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