he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
