my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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