oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
