Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
