I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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