So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Found your dick twin last night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
