We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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