Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
