Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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