i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
