we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
