everyone is single if you try hard enough
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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