I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
