she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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