Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
