You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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